I have struggled with depression for 20 years on and off, I also struggled over those to find a proper solution, I have tried counselling, CBT, Medication, support groups, none ever seemed to work. And I'd mostly hidden my depression, only a few close family members and friends were aware of it, at all. When I think back, I suppose I have probably always been one of those atypical people, where I'm always positive looking, like 'oh gosh, there's Kevin, he's always in good form' but inside, I was dying. Also, mental health issues were not as accepted some years ago as they are now, especially in most workplaces and by some individuals. Thankfully this is changing now but it is still very difficult to anticipate how these issues will be taken, adding to internal concerns.
Things had gotten much worse before Christmas 2019, very bad. A complete lack of energy, focus and motivation, crept into my mindset and I could not move past them. Suicidal thoughts became all pervasive with me working through scenarios of what process/outcome would be best/easiest/ less hassle for everyone. I began to convince myself that everyone (my family included) would be better off without me. All my waking and intermittent sleeping hours were consumed by these thoughts. I found myself stepping back from the “edge” so many times I could not function properly. My self-confidence, motivation self-worth – my “MOJO” had all disappeared.
I don’t really know how I pulled myself together to know I had to get some help. I initially approached my GP and I was able to confirm an appointment later that day, they seemed to understand the potentially dangerous mental state I was in. My GP was extremely understanding, and it was good to speak to someone. The solution was increasing medication and counselling and CBT, the medication immediately and counselling when a space was found. The NHS is an amazing organisation, but mental health services are under so much pressure it can take a long time to get seen by anyone. I really felt that any long wait may not be the best thing. I am still waiting as I write this 14 weeks later.
I contacted Stillness on Sea because I knew Enda a little bit from business some years ago and I thought I had nothing to lose. But I was more than a little sceptical, having no previous experience of hypnotherapy and similar solutions. Despite knowing Enda, I was not at all sure if; 1: This will work? 2: Is this all nonsense? 3: If it works, will it have long term gains?
I can cut through all the waffle now and say that I never achieved the sort of mental state that I have now, and I had spent a long time and a lot of money trying.
Enda said that I would 'probably feel quite a lot of relief from the first session”. Without a doubt, I can say it was immediately recognisable and immediately helpful, but then the follow up sessions really embedded it in there, they really enabled me to focus on all the positives, and to look forward, rather than looking back.
Each session of the five sessions used a different process, building up an ability to embed ways of dealing problems as they arise, recognising what is behind the negativity etc.
Lucid dreaming was a major part of what we did, and I found this to be especially helpful, exploring parts of my unconscious that I never knew existed. I was admittedly concerned that this was not possible but, WOW it worked. I found myself exploring feelings and places I did not think possible. Opening “doors of perception” without the need for medication or any other substances, healing myself with the incredible guidance of Enda. Repairing things, revisiting things, facing fears, and many other positive experiences. It was eye opening, mind opening and it seems, life changing.
Everyone’s lucid dreams are different. But these are examples of what mine was like, and this was just the first time:
Finding a sanctuary and the feeling of family ~ a nice, warm, soft feeling with sounds of laughter, music and birds.
Entering a silver forest with deer, birds, with a river running through it. Soft green grass, with the sun shining through the trees. Following the sound of a waterfall.
Standing under the waterfall in the silver forest - afterwards, felt more focused, cleaner, clearer, better, stronger.
Floating in a red place ~ saw a shelf with a glass on it. Drank it and felt energised.
Floated higher into a blue sky.
Saw people below, happy people celebrating.
Saw a heavy iron gate. Felt there was a challenge in there, opened it and found there was nothing in there, after all. Closed and locked the gate and felt much better.
Struggled against the wind to cross a big wooden bridge to the side where there were green hills, flowers and sunshine.
Smelled the green grass when I was taking a breather, then walked and walked through the field, feeling energised and free.
These experiences were so vivid, like the green hills that went on forever, the silver woods with the waterfall that washed away my worries, they just automatically come to my mind and any current annoyances just go away.
Others were more specific to past experiences, and there were many incredible moments that helped me understand how amazing the subconscious mind can be.
And I have to be honest with you, everybody has noticed, especially my wife, that I've been far, far more of myself and far more alive, and certainly, I have felt no recurrences of any of my depression, even if I'm feeling a bit crap or down. I'm still able to recall everything that I did in the lucid dreams and I can bring myself into the places I had visited there, whenever I want.
The positivity that I have now is amazing, the sense that I can push back any depression. I feel much stronger and I have an innate ability now to just ignore any negativity, walk away and carry on. The whole experience was very mind-opening and it really showed me the power of your own subconscious mind and your own innate ability to heal, is there, when you're put in the right direction.
I am more than happy to recommend Enda and Stillness on Sea to anyone. And also happy to chat about my experience. Enda can put you in contact if needed.